May 4, 2026
Jocko Underground: Struggling with Measuring Up to Your Fiance's Ex.
>Join Jocko Underground Full Episodes<
Insecurity with comparing yourself to her ex.
Insecure and sensitive boss.
What to do when you feel stuck in your career.
What to do when your kid is scared to take Jiu Jitsu class.
What to do when you're struggling to find purpose in life.
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content
WEBVTT
00:00.031 --> 00:03.819
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the Jockel Underground podcast number 212, sitting here with Echo Charles.
00:03.879 --> 00:13.299
[SPEAKER_00]: We have some questions from the field from you in the field and we will provide some guidance, some cases of some answers, and at a minimum, of course, there's a vaccine for you to follow.
00:13.960 --> 00:15.323
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, sounds good.
00:15.455 --> 00:39.420
[SPEAKER_01]: you through this maze of life is what you refer to it as sometimes it is a maze for sure some direction always helps all right first question jocquaca you try on the spot of the podcast been listening since 2016 never miss an underground pod Okay recently I found out from my buddy that my fiance used to date its seal
00:39.586 --> 00:40.107
[SPEAKER_01]: before me.
00:40.969 --> 00:45.240
[SPEAKER_01]: Ever since hearing that I can't help but wonder what the heck she's doing with me.
00:45.581 --> 00:48.248
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like I probably come up short in every possible way.
00:48.789 --> 00:52.819
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I accept my newly realized inferiority and just
00:53.103 --> 00:57.931
[SPEAKER_01]: to get and just get back on the path of being the best husband and hopefully dead soon.
00:58.532 --> 00:59.153
[SPEAKER_01]: P.S.
00:59.173 --> 01:02.760
[SPEAKER_01]: Love, very average purple belt in your jutsu.
01:02.780 --> 01:09.151
[SPEAKER_01]: So at least I have that going for me, although I routinely get humbled by 15 year olds at AOJ.
01:10.072 --> 01:11.074
[SPEAKER_01]: Part of your jutsu by the way.
01:11.094 --> 01:13.017
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm where I train.
01:13.037 --> 01:13.138
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
01:13.158 --> 01:13.258
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:13.999 --> 01:14.841
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, cool.
01:15.281 --> 01:15.702
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
01:17.099 --> 01:34.348
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, first of all, being a seal doesn't make you a good person, doesn't make you a good fighter, doesn't mean that you're smart, doesn't really mean that you have any positive qualities other than perhaps.
01:34.919 --> 01:50.789
[SPEAKER_00]: you will keep going in rough situations, but even that's suspect, because there's people that go through buds and they skate and they duck boat and seals are all over the spectrum in every aspect in their behavior.
01:51.590 --> 01:54.075
[SPEAKER_00]: And so in other words, seals are people.
01:55.355 --> 02:05.790
[SPEAKER_00]: And this guy that your fiance dated at some point was just some dude that happened to have made it through, you know, seal training, it wasn't a super hero.
02:07.593 --> 02:12.079
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's most important, and the guy could have been a great guy could have been a terrible, because it doesn't really even matter.
02:12.360 --> 02:13.762
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you, it doesn't matter.
02:13.782 --> 02:25.058
[SPEAKER_00]: The fact of the matter is, as whether this guy was a great guy and a hero and a stud or not, what, that none of that matters.
02:25.038 --> 02:30.086
[SPEAKER_00]: like why are you even thinking about that because they're not together anymore she's with you.
02:30.507 --> 02:37.578
[SPEAKER_00]: So guess who won or lack of a better one let me guess who she ended up with you.
02:38.400 --> 02:40.724
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wouldn't think about it too much.
02:40.784 --> 02:47.755
[SPEAKER_00]: You know don't don't compare yourself to some myth that's in your
02:49.827 --> 02:52.450
[SPEAKER_00]: if you reveal this, look real insecure.
02:53.131 --> 02:57.117
[SPEAKER_00]: Which isn't gonna make your fiance super stoked, right?
02:58.058 --> 03:05.388
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, the insecurities that come out from this, they seem real weak.
03:06.229 --> 03:08.331
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's no reason for it.
03:09.273 --> 03:16.302
[SPEAKER_00]: Because whatever the guy did in the past, doesn't really, whatever some guy that she dated a long time ago, doesn't really matter.
03:16.843 --> 03:18.585
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't really matter.
03:19.477 --> 03:20.442
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't worry about it, man.
03:20.844 --> 03:24.424
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, the dude's just a dude.
03:25.838 --> 03:28.921
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not some mythological creature that you've built up in your head.
03:29.642 --> 03:32.605
[SPEAKER_00]: He's some random dude that happened to make it through seal training.
03:33.265 --> 03:38.471
[SPEAKER_00]: So he probably probably would have been a terrible husband, by the way.
03:38.991 --> 03:40.813
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a 90% divorce rate in the seal themes.
03:40.893 --> 03:46.238
[SPEAKER_00]: Not that there's not great dudes in the teams, but there's a lot of dudes that are great seals.
03:46.258 --> 03:47.279
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not the best husbands.
03:47.299 --> 03:49.762
[SPEAKER_00]: You wouldn't want to marry your daughter or I could tell you that.
03:50.843 --> 03:52.825
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah.
03:52.805 --> 04:03.278
[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep getting after it, keep training you, Jitsu, keep taking care of your girl, don't worry about this, and don't, don't, don't think about it, it's not that big of a deal, man.
04:03.859 --> 04:05.641
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, that's the way.
04:05.661 --> 04:06.822
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I messing around with?
04:06.842 --> 04:08.705
[SPEAKER_00]: No, because it's going to be hard for me to answer this question.
04:08.765 --> 04:10.187
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because you're the main seal.
04:10.207 --> 04:11.728
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, then maybe it is for you.
04:12.009 --> 04:12.990
[SPEAKER_00]: What would you say?
04:12.970 --> 04:15.955
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I would say what you said is correct.
04:16.035 --> 04:29.157
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe the only thing that I might be on a in a different kind of maybe perspective or whatever is I understand what this guy saying not from necessarily the guy with the name is you, but you know how
04:29.137 --> 04:48.725
[SPEAKER_01]: I think sometimes we trick ourselves, or, I don't know, for some reason have this mist like understanding that things that we look up to and respect is something that my fiance or even just the woman, the potential girlfriend, whatever, might look up to and like and be attracted to.
04:48.745 --> 04:53.132
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, you know, all like guys in the gym, they like, they put on more weight.
04:54.093 --> 04:57.658
[SPEAKER_01]: If a girl is
04:57.638 --> 05:26.886
[SPEAKER_01]: Girls do not care how much you can bench, you know, like they care if you're strong versus like super weak of course But that's sort of it, you know, so if it's like oh, yeah, this guy can bench Three 15 right three wheels hell yeah, okay, but this other guy he can do 350 she's not gonna be like, oh I'm no longer attracted to you know, it doesn't work like that, you know, and I think we make up these These myths like I say in our head that it's like oh this guy is a seal so of course Somewhere inside of him he's like dang he kind of looks up to that as an idea
05:26.866 --> 05:38.889
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then so he just assumes maybe subconsciously that she looks up to it the kind of the same way, but just from a, you know, female, you know, intimate kind of standpoint and then he feels like this thing, but it's like, yeah, you're right.
05:38.909 --> 05:40.512
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, so what does that mean at home?
05:40.792 --> 05:42.335
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, what does that mean as a husband?
05:42.636 --> 05:42.856
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
05:42.896 --> 05:44.539
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he's looking sick with his weapon?
05:44.579 --> 05:46.924
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it doesn't make sense to see him saying.
05:46.944 --> 05:50.190
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, and then I think what you said, the point of like,
05:50.170 --> 05:57.522
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, how does this translate into being a fiance husband dad or whatever as a Navy seal you said the 90% Did forestry it's kind of okay.
05:57.542 --> 06:12.305
[SPEAKER_01]: That's actually a more of a factor than all these cool missions he probably went on and as cool Additional stuff you know can I consider so yeah, you know makes sense.
06:12.385 --> 06:17.393
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean Yeah, that delusion I think is
06:17.373 --> 06:43.566
[SPEAKER_00]: did you did you ever see the movie uh i think it's the movie meet the fuckers or it's meet the parents and Owen Wilson he plays like the ultimate ex boyfriend and the the Robert DeNiro like loves him and i just remember that scene where he's like he unveils the the like the
06:43.546 --> 06:46.950
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they call it Hopa, but it's what you get right.
06:46.970 --> 06:52.558
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like the altar and he's like, um, oh my gosh Like how much time do they say?
06:52.598 --> 07:00.147
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like oh it took me 135 man hours But you know it to me it's just working with your hands You know if it's good enough for J.C.
07:00.187 --> 07:01.008
[SPEAKER_00]: It's good enough for me.
07:01.048 --> 07:04.693
[SPEAKER_00]: He was a carpenter too Just everything he says is just so perfect
07:04.673 --> 07:06.716
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's his name?
07:07.877 --> 07:13.845
[SPEAKER_00]: Ben Stiller, who's just the lower level dude in this scenario.
07:14.446 --> 07:17.911
[SPEAKER_00]: But the fact of the matter is, who should get married to?
07:18.612 --> 07:29.106
[SPEAKER_00]: She's with Ben Stiller, despite his gross shortcomings in comparison to Owen Wilson, who plays the perfect dude.
07:29.666 --> 07:30.968
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of the same thing.
07:30.948 --> 07:53.563
[SPEAKER_01]: that oiled actually you're more right than you know I think that was literally an illustration of this exact concept where but the way they did it was way more appropriate than the Navy Seal thing because just like I said the Navy Seal thing is like that's your comparing apples to oranges like a badass dude versus a badass husband is like two different things you know in this situation but in that movie
07:53.543 --> 08:08.905
[SPEAKER_01]: They chose the things that girls tend to look up, you know, this guy like if you look at the if you watch that scene, there's pictures of them skydiving together Doing all these adventurous things, you know, and he's like he made all this money, which is a known thing attraction like point for girls.
08:08.925 --> 08:11.508
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so he's super rich, you know, and all this stuff.
08:11.528 --> 08:12.750
[SPEAKER_01]: He does all this like
08:12.730 --> 08:17.896
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting stuff, you know, he's a handsome dude or whatever, and the dad likes him everyone likes him.
08:17.916 --> 08:22.401
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so it's kind of like He has a point to be here.
08:22.421 --> 08:25.164
[SPEAKER_00]: You remember by chance why they weren't together anymore?
08:25.985 --> 08:29.449
[SPEAKER_01]: No, like what what went wrong She's if I remember correct.
08:29.469 --> 08:30.229
[SPEAKER_01]: She said something.
08:30.390 --> 08:32.532
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, she just simply said I wasn't in love with him.
08:32.972 --> 08:36.156
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, yeah, okay That's all she said damn
08:36.575 --> 08:37.436
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so there you go.
08:37.456 --> 08:39.317
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good comparison though, right?
08:39.337 --> 08:40.338
[SPEAKER_00]: And he stillers mine.
08:40.499 --> 08:42.981
[SPEAKER_00]: He thinks like, bro, I can't compete with this dude.
08:43.001 --> 08:47.084
[SPEAKER_00]: But she literally doesn't even love Owen Wilson.
08:47.645 --> 08:47.745
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
08:47.765 --> 08:53.730
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sorry that I don't know the character names that I'm not trying to attribute these attributions to the actual humans.
08:53.750 --> 08:56.633
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though Owen Wilson did that guy's freaking awesome.
08:56.653 --> 08:56.833
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
08:57.214 --> 09:06.582
[SPEAKER_01]: Because he was like, and that guy just says in general, his D does a really good job in like, you know, playing these characters.
09:06.562 --> 09:34.172
[SPEAKER_01]: It would make you super freaking whether be jealous insecure whatever because she'll be like, oh, yeah She was a Tom cat and he got We had some wine and he kind of goes in to things about it to himself and then then still He's looking at him like and then um and then he's like a They were playing volleyball and then she's like and they're on the same team the own Wilson in the girl and she was like, hey
09:34.152 --> 09:36.637
[SPEAKER_01]: Good job, ice man, or they had nick deems for each other.
09:37.339 --> 09:38.822
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, that's when he got jelly.
09:38.842 --> 09:40.125
[SPEAKER_01]: He finally got jelly.
09:40.746 --> 09:41.347
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever.
09:41.468 --> 09:42.670
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you, that's real, though.
09:43.412 --> 09:51.148
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, man, and this is where you got to kind of get, you got to get control of the, got to get control of the, of the damn, uh,
09:51.128 --> 09:53.052
[SPEAKER_00]: of the damn steering wheel here, right?
09:54.275 --> 10:02.713
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you've got to steer away from like this jealousy in this insecurity, but you've got to steer away from that because it is in its own right what the weakness is.
10:03.474 --> 10:04.517
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, does that make sense?
10:05.198 --> 10:07.062
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're insecure,
10:07.042 --> 10:19.557
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the insecurity right the insecurity isn't that this guy might be bigger stronger faster taller richer than you that none of that matters What actually matters is the one thing that you have control over is is like are you gonna act insecure?
10:20.418 --> 10:31.632
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you are then throw you you break up with her because nothing it's not gonna be good But if you can be like, oh cool, I get it Might be a little bit of jail so they're shit, but I'm gonna kind of I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
10:31.612 --> 10:33.335
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to make a deal out of them.
10:33.375 --> 10:34.457
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly not going to act it out.
10:34.757 --> 10:42.850
[SPEAKER_00]: Which means you have to stay to touch enough from your own little like weird Control system that you don't steer it the wrong way.
10:43.251 --> 10:44.152
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, well, I don't know.
10:44.473 --> 10:46.296
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I don't want to go to party if he's going to be there.
10:46.356 --> 10:46.937
[SPEAKER_00]: You see what I'm saying.
10:47.017 --> 10:50.903
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, fully or no, I don't want to go see this movie about about
10:50.883 --> 11:05.002
[SPEAKER_00]: Navy seals might make you think of Fred or what you know what I mean like if you do that You're you're you're you're you're you're revealing the one thing that actually could matter Yeah, in a negative way if you're like bro.
11:05.063 --> 11:13.414
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, if you just call you I'll go see that And she goes you know that reminds me of that guy Fred and you go oh who?
11:13.394 --> 11:14.435
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, like I dated a guy.
11:14.455 --> 11:15.496
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
11:16.197 --> 11:17.838
[SPEAKER_00]: If you say it like that, she's all good.
11:18.279 --> 11:20.200
[SPEAKER_00]: If you say it like well, I don't want to see another one of these movies.
11:20.220 --> 11:21.241
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna make you think of him.
11:21.602 --> 11:22.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you're just pathetic.
11:23.203 --> 11:23.303
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:23.323 --> 11:23.944
[SPEAKER_00]: It's an undo that.
11:24.625 --> 11:25.425
[SPEAKER_00]: Get control your statement.
11:25.445 --> 11:29.229
[SPEAKER_00]: And listen, I'm not saying you're gonna feel the you won't feel the pull of the steering wheel.
11:29.249 --> 11:29.349
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:29.369 --> 11:29.750
[SPEAKER_00]: I get it.
11:30.170 --> 11:32.432
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's it's part of nature, right?
11:32.492 --> 11:33.153
[SPEAKER_00]: Part of nature.
11:33.413 --> 11:34.294
[SPEAKER_00]: You're looking around.
11:34.594 --> 11:35.455
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be jealous.
11:35.475 --> 11:36.236
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be resentful.
11:36.256 --> 11:37.036
[SPEAKER_00]: You have all those things.
11:37.337 --> 11:39.739
[SPEAKER_00]: But you don't you don't let that feeling.
11:40.816 --> 11:47.605
[SPEAKER_00]: So, that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocco Underground podcast.
11:47.685 --> 11:49.071
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to continue to listen,
11:50.502 --> 12:17.488
[SPEAKER_00]: go to jockelunderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this, we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jockel podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control
12:17.468 --> 12:38.278
[SPEAKER_00]: sponsors and we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us and to do that we are building a website right now where we'll build the utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us.
12:38.678 --> 12:41.422
[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, it's jacco underground.com.
12:41.742 --> 12:47.070
[SPEAKER_00]: It costs $8 and 18 cents a month and if you can't afford
12:48.147 --> 13:00.537
[SPEAKER_00]: We can still support you just email assistance at jockelonaground.com and we'll get you taken care of until then we will see you mobilized underground.
00:00.031 --> 00:03.819
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the Jockel Underground podcast number 212, sitting here with Echo Charles.
00:03.879 --> 00:13.299
[SPEAKER_00]: We have some questions from the field from you in the field and we will provide some guidance, some cases of some answers, and at a minimum, of course, there's a vaccine for you to follow.
00:13.960 --> 00:15.323
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, sounds good.
00:15.455 --> 00:39.420
[SPEAKER_01]: you through this maze of life is what you refer to it as sometimes it is a maze for sure some direction always helps all right first question jocquaca you try on the spot of the podcast been listening since 2016 never miss an underground pod Okay recently I found out from my buddy that my fiance used to date its seal
00:39.586 --> 00:40.107
[SPEAKER_01]: before me.
00:40.969 --> 00:45.240
[SPEAKER_01]: Ever since hearing that I can't help but wonder what the heck she's doing with me.
00:45.581 --> 00:48.248
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like I probably come up short in every possible way.
00:48.789 --> 00:52.819
[SPEAKER_01]: How do I accept my newly realized inferiority and just
00:53.103 --> 00:57.931
[SPEAKER_01]: to get and just get back on the path of being the best husband and hopefully dead soon.
00:58.532 --> 00:59.153
[SPEAKER_01]: P.S.
00:59.173 --> 01:02.760
[SPEAKER_01]: Love, very average purple belt in your jutsu.
01:02.780 --> 01:09.151
[SPEAKER_01]: So at least I have that going for me, although I routinely get humbled by 15 year olds at AOJ.
01:10.072 --> 01:11.074
[SPEAKER_01]: Part of your jutsu by the way.
01:11.094 --> 01:13.017
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm where I train.
01:13.037 --> 01:13.138
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
01:13.158 --> 01:13.258
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
01:13.999 --> 01:14.841
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, cool.
01:15.281 --> 01:15.702
[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.
01:17.099 --> 01:34.348
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, first of all, being a seal doesn't make you a good person, doesn't make you a good fighter, doesn't mean that you're smart, doesn't really mean that you have any positive qualities other than perhaps.
01:34.919 --> 01:50.789
[SPEAKER_00]: you will keep going in rough situations, but even that's suspect, because there's people that go through buds and they skate and they duck boat and seals are all over the spectrum in every aspect in their behavior.
01:51.590 --> 01:54.075
[SPEAKER_00]: And so in other words, seals are people.
01:55.355 --> 02:05.790
[SPEAKER_00]: And this guy that your fiance dated at some point was just some dude that happened to have made it through, you know, seal training, it wasn't a super hero.
02:07.593 --> 02:12.079
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's most important, and the guy could have been a great guy could have been a terrible, because it doesn't really even matter.
02:12.360 --> 02:13.762
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you, it doesn't matter.
02:13.782 --> 02:25.058
[SPEAKER_00]: The fact of the matter is, as whether this guy was a great guy and a hero and a stud or not, what, that none of that matters.
02:25.038 --> 02:30.086
[SPEAKER_00]: like why are you even thinking about that because they're not together anymore she's with you.
02:30.507 --> 02:37.578
[SPEAKER_00]: So guess who won or lack of a better one let me guess who she ended up with you.
02:38.400 --> 02:40.724
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wouldn't think about it too much.
02:40.784 --> 02:47.755
[SPEAKER_00]: You know don't don't compare yourself to some myth that's in your
02:49.827 --> 02:52.450
[SPEAKER_00]: if you reveal this, look real insecure.
02:53.131 --> 02:57.117
[SPEAKER_00]: Which isn't gonna make your fiance super stoked, right?
02:58.058 --> 03:05.388
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, the insecurities that come out from this, they seem real weak.
03:06.229 --> 03:08.331
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's no reason for it.
03:09.273 --> 03:16.302
[SPEAKER_00]: Because whatever the guy did in the past, doesn't really, whatever some guy that she dated a long time ago, doesn't really matter.
03:16.843 --> 03:18.585
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't really matter.
03:19.477 --> 03:20.442
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't worry about it, man.
03:20.844 --> 03:24.424
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, the dude's just a dude.
03:25.838 --> 03:28.921
[SPEAKER_00]: He's not some mythological creature that you've built up in your head.
03:29.642 --> 03:32.605
[SPEAKER_00]: He's some random dude that happened to make it through seal training.
03:33.265 --> 03:38.471
[SPEAKER_00]: So he probably probably would have been a terrible husband, by the way.
03:38.991 --> 03:40.813
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a 90% divorce rate in the seal themes.
03:40.893 --> 03:46.238
[SPEAKER_00]: Not that there's not great dudes in the teams, but there's a lot of dudes that are great seals.
03:46.258 --> 03:47.279
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not the best husbands.
03:47.299 --> 03:49.762
[SPEAKER_00]: You wouldn't want to marry your daughter or I could tell you that.
03:50.843 --> 03:52.825
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah.
03:52.805 --> 04:03.278
[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep getting after it, keep training you, Jitsu, keep taking care of your girl, don't worry about this, and don't, don't, don't think about it, it's not that big of a deal, man.
04:03.859 --> 04:05.641
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, that's the way.
04:05.661 --> 04:06.822
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I messing around with?
04:06.842 --> 04:08.705
[SPEAKER_00]: No, because it's going to be hard for me to answer this question.
04:08.765 --> 04:10.187
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because you're the main seal.
04:10.207 --> 04:11.728
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, then maybe it is for you.
04:12.009 --> 04:12.990
[SPEAKER_00]: What would you say?
04:12.970 --> 04:15.955
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I would say what you said is correct.
04:16.035 --> 04:29.157
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe the only thing that I might be on a in a different kind of maybe perspective or whatever is I understand what this guy saying not from necessarily the guy with the name is you, but you know how
04:29.137 --> 04:48.725
[SPEAKER_01]: I think sometimes we trick ourselves, or, I don't know, for some reason have this mist like understanding that things that we look up to and respect is something that my fiance or even just the woman, the potential girlfriend, whatever, might look up to and like and be attracted to.
04:48.745 --> 04:53.132
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, you know, all like guys in the gym, they like, they put on more weight.
04:54.093 --> 04:57.658
[SPEAKER_01]: If a girl is
04:57.638 --> 05:26.886
[SPEAKER_01]: Girls do not care how much you can bench, you know, like they care if you're strong versus like super weak of course But that's sort of it, you know, so if it's like oh, yeah, this guy can bench Three 15 right three wheels hell yeah, okay, but this other guy he can do 350 she's not gonna be like, oh I'm no longer attracted to you know, it doesn't work like that, you know, and I think we make up these These myths like I say in our head that it's like oh this guy is a seal so of course Somewhere inside of him he's like dang he kind of looks up to that as an idea
05:26.866 --> 05:38.889
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then so he just assumes maybe subconsciously that she looks up to it the kind of the same way, but just from a, you know, female, you know, intimate kind of standpoint and then he feels like this thing, but it's like, yeah, you're right.
05:38.909 --> 05:40.512
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, so what does that mean at home?
05:40.792 --> 05:42.335
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, what does that mean as a husband?
05:42.636 --> 05:42.856
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
05:42.896 --> 05:44.539
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he's looking sick with his weapon?
05:44.579 --> 05:46.924
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it doesn't make sense to see him saying.
05:46.944 --> 05:50.190
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, and then I think what you said, the point of like,
05:50.170 --> 05:57.522
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, how does this translate into being a fiance husband dad or whatever as a Navy seal you said the 90% Did forestry it's kind of okay.
05:57.542 --> 06:12.305
[SPEAKER_01]: That's actually a more of a factor than all these cool missions he probably went on and as cool Additional stuff you know can I consider so yeah, you know makes sense.
06:12.385 --> 06:17.393
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean Yeah, that delusion I think is
06:17.373 --> 06:43.566
[SPEAKER_00]: did you did you ever see the movie uh i think it's the movie meet the fuckers or it's meet the parents and Owen Wilson he plays like the ultimate ex boyfriend and the the Robert DeNiro like loves him and i just remember that scene where he's like he unveils the the like the
06:43.546 --> 06:46.950
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they call it Hopa, but it's what you get right.
06:46.970 --> 06:52.558
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like the altar and he's like, um, oh my gosh Like how much time do they say?
06:52.598 --> 07:00.147
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like oh it took me 135 man hours But you know it to me it's just working with your hands You know if it's good enough for J.C.
07:00.187 --> 07:01.008
[SPEAKER_00]: It's good enough for me.
07:01.048 --> 07:04.693
[SPEAKER_00]: He was a carpenter too Just everything he says is just so perfect
07:04.673 --> 07:06.716
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's his name?
07:07.877 --> 07:13.845
[SPEAKER_00]: Ben Stiller, who's just the lower level dude in this scenario.
07:14.446 --> 07:17.911
[SPEAKER_00]: But the fact of the matter is, who should get married to?
07:18.612 --> 07:29.106
[SPEAKER_00]: She's with Ben Stiller, despite his gross shortcomings in comparison to Owen Wilson, who plays the perfect dude.
07:29.666 --> 07:30.968
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of the same thing.
07:30.948 --> 07:53.563
[SPEAKER_01]: that oiled actually you're more right than you know I think that was literally an illustration of this exact concept where but the way they did it was way more appropriate than the Navy Seal thing because just like I said the Navy Seal thing is like that's your comparing apples to oranges like a badass dude versus a badass husband is like two different things you know in this situation but in that movie
07:53.543 --> 08:08.905
[SPEAKER_01]: They chose the things that girls tend to look up, you know, this guy like if you look at the if you watch that scene, there's pictures of them skydiving together Doing all these adventurous things, you know, and he's like he made all this money, which is a known thing attraction like point for girls.
08:08.925 --> 08:11.508
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so he's super rich, you know, and all this stuff.
08:11.528 --> 08:12.750
[SPEAKER_01]: He does all this like
08:12.730 --> 08:17.896
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting stuff, you know, he's a handsome dude or whatever, and the dad likes him everyone likes him.
08:17.916 --> 08:22.401
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so it's kind of like He has a point to be here.
08:22.421 --> 08:25.164
[SPEAKER_00]: You remember by chance why they weren't together anymore?
08:25.985 --> 08:29.449
[SPEAKER_01]: No, like what what went wrong She's if I remember correct.
08:29.469 --> 08:30.229
[SPEAKER_01]: She said something.
08:30.390 --> 08:32.532
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, she just simply said I wasn't in love with him.
08:32.972 --> 08:36.156
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, yeah, okay That's all she said damn
08:36.575 --> 08:37.436
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so there you go.
08:37.456 --> 08:39.317
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good comparison though, right?
08:39.337 --> 08:40.338
[SPEAKER_00]: And he stillers mine.
08:40.499 --> 08:42.981
[SPEAKER_00]: He thinks like, bro, I can't compete with this dude.
08:43.001 --> 08:47.084
[SPEAKER_00]: But she literally doesn't even love Owen Wilson.
08:47.645 --> 08:47.745
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
08:47.765 --> 08:53.730
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sorry that I don't know the character names that I'm not trying to attribute these attributions to the actual humans.
08:53.750 --> 08:56.633
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though Owen Wilson did that guy's freaking awesome.
08:56.653 --> 08:56.833
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
08:57.214 --> 09:06.582
[SPEAKER_01]: Because he was like, and that guy just says in general, his D does a really good job in like, you know, playing these characters.
09:06.562 --> 09:34.172
[SPEAKER_01]: It would make you super freaking whether be jealous insecure whatever because she'll be like, oh, yeah She was a Tom cat and he got We had some wine and he kind of goes in to things about it to himself and then then still He's looking at him like and then um and then he's like a They were playing volleyball and then she's like and they're on the same team the own Wilson in the girl and she was like, hey
09:34.152 --> 09:36.637
[SPEAKER_01]: Good job, ice man, or they had nick deems for each other.
09:37.339 --> 09:38.822
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, that's when he got jelly.
09:38.842 --> 09:40.125
[SPEAKER_01]: He finally got jelly.
09:40.746 --> 09:41.347
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever.
09:41.468 --> 09:42.670
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you, that's real, though.
09:43.412 --> 09:51.148
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, man, and this is where you got to kind of get, you got to get control of the, got to get control of the, of the damn, uh,
09:51.128 --> 09:53.052
[SPEAKER_00]: of the damn steering wheel here, right?
09:54.275 --> 10:02.713
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you've got to steer away from like this jealousy in this insecurity, but you've got to steer away from that because it is in its own right what the weakness is.
10:03.474 --> 10:04.517
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, does that make sense?
10:05.198 --> 10:07.062
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're insecure,
10:07.042 --> 10:19.557
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the insecurity right the insecurity isn't that this guy might be bigger stronger faster taller richer than you that none of that matters What actually matters is the one thing that you have control over is is like are you gonna act insecure?
10:20.418 --> 10:31.632
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you are then throw you you break up with her because nothing it's not gonna be good But if you can be like, oh cool, I get it Might be a little bit of jail so they're shit, but I'm gonna kind of I'm not gonna I'm not gonna
10:31.612 --> 10:33.335
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to make a deal out of them.
10:33.375 --> 10:34.457
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly not going to act it out.
10:34.757 --> 10:42.850
[SPEAKER_00]: Which means you have to stay to touch enough from your own little like weird Control system that you don't steer it the wrong way.
10:43.251 --> 10:44.152
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, well, I don't know.
10:44.473 --> 10:46.296
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I don't want to go to party if he's going to be there.
10:46.356 --> 10:46.937
[SPEAKER_00]: You see what I'm saying.
10:47.017 --> 10:50.903
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, fully or no, I don't want to go see this movie about about
10:50.883 --> 11:05.002
[SPEAKER_00]: Navy seals might make you think of Fred or what you know what I mean like if you do that You're you're you're you're you're you're revealing the one thing that actually could matter Yeah, in a negative way if you're like bro.
11:05.063 --> 11:13.414
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, if you just call you I'll go see that And she goes you know that reminds me of that guy Fred and you go oh who?
11:13.394 --> 11:14.435
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, like I dated a guy.
11:14.455 --> 11:15.496
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
11:16.197 --> 11:17.838
[SPEAKER_00]: If you say it like that, she's all good.
11:18.279 --> 11:20.200
[SPEAKER_00]: If you say it like well, I don't want to see another one of these movies.
11:20.220 --> 11:21.241
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna make you think of him.
11:21.602 --> 11:22.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you're just pathetic.
11:23.203 --> 11:23.303
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:23.323 --> 11:23.944
[SPEAKER_00]: It's an undo that.
11:24.625 --> 11:25.425
[SPEAKER_00]: Get control your statement.
11:25.445 --> 11:29.229
[SPEAKER_00]: And listen, I'm not saying you're gonna feel the you won't feel the pull of the steering wheel.
11:29.249 --> 11:29.349
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:29.369 --> 11:29.750
[SPEAKER_00]: I get it.
11:30.170 --> 11:32.432
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's it's part of nature, right?
11:32.492 --> 11:33.153
[SPEAKER_00]: Part of nature.
11:33.413 --> 11:34.294
[SPEAKER_00]: You're looking around.
11:34.594 --> 11:35.455
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be jealous.
11:35.475 --> 11:36.236
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be resentful.
11:36.256 --> 11:37.036
[SPEAKER_00]: You have all those things.
11:37.337 --> 11:39.739
[SPEAKER_00]: But you don't you don't let that feeling.
11:40.816 --> 11:47.605
[SPEAKER_00]: So, that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocco Underground podcast.
11:47.685 --> 11:49.071
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to continue to listen,
11:50.502 --> 12:17.488
[SPEAKER_00]: go to jockelunderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this, we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jockel podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control
12:17.468 --> 12:38.278
[SPEAKER_00]: sponsors and we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us and to do that we are building a website right now where we'll build the utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us.
12:38.678 --> 12:41.422
[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, it's jacco underground.com.
12:41.742 --> 12:47.070
[SPEAKER_00]: It costs $8 and 18 cents a month and if you can't afford
12:48.147 --> 13:00.537
[SPEAKER_00]: We can still support you just email assistance at jockelonaground.com and we'll get you taken care of until then we will see you mobilized underground.