Jocko Underground: Issues With Training Jiu Jitsu with Women Partners.

0:00 [SPEAKER_00]: This is the Jockel Underground podcast number 233 sitting here with Echo Charles. [SPEAKER_00]: We have a variety of questions from the front line troops. [SPEAKER_00]: Those of you that are out there in the mix currently getting after it, sometimes you run into some obstacles. [SPEAKER_00]: Some terrain features you gotta maneuver around and we are here to answer your questions. [SPEAKER_00]: Give you some solutions. [SPEAKER_00]: give you some recommendations or add a minimum. [SPEAKER_00]: Give you some courses of action you can follow to navigate this terrain of life. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get into it. [SPEAKER_00]: First question. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm 35, married with kids, and I do just to blue belt. [SPEAKER_01]: Recently, my wife started bringing our daughter to the kids class and realized men and women train together. [SPEAKER_01]: She's uncomfortable with me rolling with women because positions like Mount.

0:45 [SPEAKER_01]: and closed guard seemed to intimate. [SPEAKER_01]: She trusts me completely, but admits she feels insecure about me training closely with athletic women. [SPEAKER_01]: I explain there's nothing sexual about it, and she understands, but it still bothers her. [SPEAKER_01]: I rarely train with women anyway, so avoiding it wouldn't be difficult. [SPEAKER_01]: Should I simply stop training with women out of respect for my wife or handle this differently? [SPEAKER_00]: Yep, stop training with women. [SPEAKER_00]: next question this is just a total no brainer right yeah your relationship with your wife is paramount obviously you have kids this is your wife right um you get nothing from training with women right you're not getting any training benefit you rarely do it anyways uh there's no reason to do it if your wife is concerned about it and so you don't need to put yourself in a position with zero upside [SPEAKER_00]: So, and it's not that big of a deal like to, you, no one in digital class has to train with anyone else in digital class.

1:51 [SPEAKER_00]: I know this might seem uncomfortable at times because you feel weird and awkward, but you, as a human being, whoever you are, do not have to train with any other human being in a digital class. [SPEAKER_00]: That's the way it is. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're for some reason feeling any kind of like weird pressure out of social awkwardness or whatever, it's just wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: When someone says, hey, do you want to try and do you got none? [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, thanks. [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: That's it. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, no thanks, appreciate it. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm gonna sit this one out. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm already training with echo over here. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm not training with any smaller people today. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm not training with any bigger people today. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm not training with anyone younger than me today.

2:31 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm not training with anyone older than me. [SPEAKER_00]: You just say whatever you want. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't train with girls. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to, I don't, I'm a little too crazy. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want her to buddy. [SPEAKER_00]: No, it's fine, no, no, that's kind of one of my rules. [SPEAKER_00]: And there you go. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to give away, like, you have to start bringing your personal life into a woman's life. [SPEAKER_00]: Did you know me saying that shit? [SPEAKER_00]: No reason for that. [SPEAKER_00]: That's between your and your wife. [SPEAKER_00]: That's your business. [SPEAKER_00]: Not anyone else's business. [SPEAKER_00]: So, yep, you just stopped training with women. [SPEAKER_00]: Say, hey, babe, sorry. [SPEAKER_00]: You're right. [SPEAKER_00]: Cool. [SPEAKER_00]: I won't train with women anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: And we're done. [SPEAKER_00]: We have an awesome marriage. [SPEAKER_00]: We take care of our kids. [SPEAKER_00]: We never get any weird situations. [SPEAKER_00]: No one's ever accusing us of doing anything. [SPEAKER_00]: Just carry on. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're doing. [SPEAKER_00]: So, good. [SPEAKER_01]: Yep. [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of Because that first when when I first started to get to there was that question too, and not at first because that first first There was no girls anywhere, but one victory opened up and stuff.

3:23 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, oh yeah girls trained with it like in my wife was kind of confused You know, because like why are you training with the girl like you were you trained with chocolate and then a girl? [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't make sense. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, chocolate's like big is teach you stuff. [SPEAKER_01]: You need like big as you you know why would you? [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, yeah, that's true. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't see it because I'm just trying to alter it with anybody. [SPEAKER_01]: Freaking little 13 year old freaking, it's the kid wants to train. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'll train. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm taking easy, you know, kind of a thing. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, but it's like, okay, it doesn't matter that it's that from your personal perspective, it's not like that. [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, and then even a bigger picture, I thought of it as like, yeah, no, you just supposed to help me and my family, not create issues.

4:05 [SPEAKER_01]: that I got to explain and freaking justify and all this wood, which doesn't even need a justification. [SPEAKER_01]: In a way, rush, that's her opinion and it's correct. [SPEAKER_01]: That's how you read. [SPEAKER_01]: That's how everything's kind of set up. [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying? [SPEAKER_01]: So you got to prioritize the other thing. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not saying, I'm not telling you this guy. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm saying this is what I was kind of thinking of for myself. [SPEAKER_01]: And um, but I do understand the the question of should I handle it differently because there is a certain almost intangible It's an illusion, but it's like this intangible like [SPEAKER_01]: element of being in jujitsu that it's almost like your loyalty to the sport that like hey are you a trip like we're let's say this 10 of us in this class you got two girls in there or something like this and it's like hey they're there to train too you know and now you're you know you're part in it up with her and you're now you're saying no you can't get the training on this runs like I owe it to this jujitsu class to be a good training partner we know like we feel that you know [SPEAKER_01]: But there's more important things that I'm saying.

5:08 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, maybe as a blue belt, he might think that there's some unknown etiquette that he should, that he needs to consider. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: But there is, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And by the way, if there was some crazy situation where, you know, it was like, [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, can you help me show this position to her? [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be like, oh, no, I can't. [SPEAKER_00]: No, you go, oh, cool, it's not like, you're not like, rolling, you're, if you gap in to do a round and like, oh, you know, you just like, hey man, I'm pretty much not rolling with girls anymore and you just do whatever you can. [SPEAKER_00]: And if it happens once a month or once a year, you're like, okay, we'll know we can, I rolled with the girl, you know, whatever. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I wouldn't try to too much, but yeah, just prioritize your wife, prioritize your kids, prioritize your marriage.

5:50 [SPEAKER_01]: And do you have to worry about chaining with girls and that's that and at same time that's not to say that training with her you should be training with girls I don't train with girls much anymore only because there's not as many girls [SPEAKER_00]: In my element of people that I train with because they're used to be we used to have panning around You know, but actually with page you know, I'll train with page all day like pages freaking awesome to train with chia obviously train with rana Train with fraia like I train with my daughters Who else? [SPEAKER_00]: I train with rafa the other day like she's a you know one of the best in the world Train with the other side totally cool, but again [SPEAKER_00]: That's, so it is totally normal to train with girls, but it's okay if you can't, if your wife's got a problem, no factors, just call it.

6:38 [SPEAKER_01]: Yep, I will, yeah, I Being in duty 2, I miss this for the first part of it, but seeing it from someone else's perspective, duty 2, and you say this, duty 2 is probably the most intimate sport there it's not even close. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's nothing even close. [SPEAKER_00]: No, there's nothing even close I guess maybe some like weird like cheerleading situations We're guys are like picking girls up by their butt. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, so that's that's one But it's but even that's like Yeah, but even that is like not I mean there's full intimacy In a physical perspective in jutsu for sure, so yeah, if a if your wife's like no, then cool [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because yeah, because if you look at it from another perspective, you're like, I see exactly what she's talking about, 100% the word is mount.

7:27 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the name of the position. [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, man. [SPEAKER_01]: And like, if you think of not to get too graphic here, but if you think of sexual positions, like just in life, like real sexual, there's very, like, almost. [SPEAKER_01]: Just like word for word. [SPEAKER_01]: Insta-Into overlapped to some position. [SPEAKER_00]: There is it, bro. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, like I said because yeah, of course not because you're looking at it from a non-sexual Jiu-Jitsu situation. [SPEAKER_01]: You look at it from the wife situation. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, bro. [SPEAKER_01]: Let's face it. [SPEAKER_01]: Same same. [SPEAKER_01]: And I know this and this is when it was dawned on me This is back in 2006. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I think something like this. [SPEAKER_01]: She's watching the show called sex in the city. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, one of your favorites [SPEAKER_01]: and she was like, oh yeah, on the show.

8:12 [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, I'm dating this guy. [SPEAKER_01]: He's a martial artist, whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, oh, what is it? [SPEAKER_01]: Look at karate, whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, oh, it's called Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. [SPEAKER_01]: And now, isn't that the gayest sport in the world? [SPEAKER_01]: There's something like that. [SPEAKER_00]: So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Joko Underground podcast. [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to continue to listen, [SPEAKER_00]: go to jockelunderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jockel podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors [SPEAKER_00]: And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us, and to do that, we are building a website right now, where we'll build the utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us.

9:20 [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, it's jockelunderground.com. [SPEAKER_00]: It costs $8 and $18 a month. [SPEAKER_00]: And if you can't afford to support us, [SPEAKER_00]: We can still support you just email assistance at jockelonagram.com and we'll get you taken care of until then we will see you mobilized underground.