Sept. 15, 2025
Jocko Underground: How to Finally Get Your Kids To do What You Want Them To.


Leading at Home Without Anger
(How to earn respect, guide your kids, and avoid becoming a tyrant parent.)
When a Neighbor Crosses the Line
(Handling heartless comments after the Charlie Kirk tragedy while keeping peace next door.)
Finding Peace After a Father’s Failings
(Moving forward when your dad wasn’t the hero you needed.)
Bipolar Disorder and the Fight for Balance
(Using sports, discipline, and creativity to manage the highs and lows.)
Set Up to Fail at Work?
(Navigating redundancy, lost progression, and building an exit strategy.)
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is the Jockel Underground podcast number 182 sitting here with Echo Trolls.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've got some questions from the troopers out there in the world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We will provide answers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll provide recommendations, courses of actions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Courses of action.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Which is helpful, by the way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, first question.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hi, Jockel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A long time listener here, father of two, eight and four.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Husband, business owner, and brown belt.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hoot your ins hard every morning, inspired by your example.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My problem is my eight-year-old daughter is very bright, but extremely defiant about chores and daily effort.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Every request turns into a fight and I inevitably lose my cool.
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[SPEAKER_01]: After a recent blow up, she asked, what's the point you're always mad anyway?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've got you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm failing to lead at home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My anger seems set to the negative tone from that family and on a break this cycle.
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[SPEAKER_01]: earn her respect, motivate effort, and set discipline without crushing or trust or spirit.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I've done therapy for anger in the past and greatly changed my perspective and approach, but I'm human and I still struggle with triggers.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What advice do you have for fathers wrestling with this battle at home?
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[SPEAKER_01]: How do you lead defiant kids who rattle the home's stability and maintain trust so the family buys in?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Listening to your podcast has helped me push through tough spots for years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right on classic case of imposing things on the people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I look you can get away with that something that's I'm like like like maybe 10% 20% of people will be okay with that Most people won't that's why it doesn't work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why we didn't write a book, you know, called like extreme tyrannical leadership Because that doesn't work Doesn't work in a business doesn't work on the battlefield.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't work with your family either So here's a couple things just straightforward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be a little tricky because you because
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was about to say you think you know best and you actually do know best you do know what's best for your daughter and if you could program exactly what she should do study from this time train this much clean this thing play you know violin at this time and you could program your kid and just break their spirit and just make them do that would be like the the ideal you make the ideal kid right except for the part that I said what I said broken spirit
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[SPEAKER_00]: because you have to break them to get them to do that, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You think break them to get them to do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, you don't want to do that, you don't want to do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want to give her some ownership, you want to kind of as much as you can, treat her like an adult, not in a punitive way, and don't go crazy, don't go overboard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But,
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you look at her and eight-year-old kid, I've known guys that were eight years old lived on a farm and they would drive the tractor into town with hay and sell it, like get the money and bring it back in, you know what I mean?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like an eight-year-old is a capable human.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so let her come up with it, like let her come up with the chores.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe there's gonna be some successful data.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make sense that I have to make my bed every day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of freaking out and be like, you're gonna lock this up and pull it through.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, just be like, okay, cool, yeah, you're right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just pull the comforter up so we can tell it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's, you know, so you can put stuff on and it won't be messy or if the dog jumps on it, it won't get, you know, hair inside, you know, just whatever something just, just real simple.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let her come up with a short list.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then, you know, maybe negotiate some kind of a salary, you know, what do we, let's work, let's, let's get some rewards, some compensation here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you got to explain the why and then the why's got to be pragmatic and it's got to be something they can understand too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And kids don't understand this will instill this discipline that you need in the future.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They don't care about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Need to be hey listen here's the bottom line if we have a fire in the house and the firefighters have to come through your window And there's crap all over the floor.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They're not going to be able to get you out of here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't care how clean the room is You're not to get the dust off the floor, but you can't have a bunch of toys all over the floor Cool, yep cool, so like a pragmatic explanation Hey, you can't have dishes in your room because then we have flies and we have mice and we'll have ants all over the house So you can't have you know dishes in your room
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[SPEAKER_00]: just pragmatically can't do it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have to fold your clothes a certain way?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, you don't have to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't mind going to school with wrinkle clothes, don't care.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What if the other parents judge you as a bad person?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like whatever, my kids look like damn freaking, they were raised by wolves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When my kids were that age, my son didn't wear shoes, he didn't wear a shirt.
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[SPEAKER_00]: His feet look like you as a damn caveman.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter's only wore like, leotards, dirty leotards.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you see what I'm saying?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't like, you know, people probably looking at me going, what are you know, that guy doesn't even
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know discipline in this house, really?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of like some pragmatic things to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The other thing is you want respect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to give a respect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want her to trust you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to give her trust.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want to have influence over her?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You better allow her to influence you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's, you know, trustless and respect influencing care.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what you gotta do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard to give those things to your kid because you know you're so much smarter than them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying that like being a jerk, saying it, but I know it's true.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know for all of my kids, I could have given them the ultimate schedule.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that they then would have been the jujitsu champion, the wrestling champion, the freaking guitar hero, whatever.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like you can impose, or you can come up with a plan, the perfect plan, put it in a chatbie, GBT.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, how many times a day should my daughter be training jujitsu in her or be a world champion?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What school should she go to for jujitsu?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And where, how many times a day?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What athletic pursuits should she take on?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What Olympic lifting?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You see, I'm saying you could do it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you'd be right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: you'd be right and you also have a child that would hate you and you have a child that hated whatever sport you were trying to get him to do or whatever thing you were trying to get him to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you build a relationship with them and you make all those things fun instead of freaking misery and discipline doesn't become this horrible overbearing tone inside your house where everyone just thinks you're ridiculous you're trying to run this
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[SPEAKER_00]: then it'll be problematic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But if you treat them like, listen what they have to say, put some trust to, oh, hey, do you want to go?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What are some things you're going to, hey, do you want to go and train your jet to?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is he trying to get his kids to do you just to?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, uh, you're trying to get your kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you're trying to get your kids to train your jet to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, well, I don't really want to train today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, well, you want to do something else?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah, what do you want to do?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to get some ice cream?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, yeah, excuse my screen that will skip to you just as he seems and just have fun Have fun and by the way, what you're here's the here's the important thing that person that you raised like a robot ends up with a person without a mind that is going to be able to think isn't going to be able to Be able to overcome adversity isn't going to be able to figure out ways out of problems that they're going to get presented in her life So you think you're making them a better person, but you're making them a worse person
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to open up their minds.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to allow them to brush in the guardrails of failure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are all things that you have to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to teach them to think for themselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want, that's it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to teach them to think for themselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And guess what?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sounds like your daughter thinks for herself right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's got that, she's got that beautiful, natural spark of individuality and spirit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's going to come with some damn problems, bro.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was looking to old videos the other day of my kids when they were little.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I almost posted him, because you see a couple of videos of random, you're like, that's going to be hard to handle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's just, you see some little pictures of frail, and she's like, oh, that's going to be, you know, these are, these are not obedient, you know, slaves, or my son, like when he's a little kid, you're like, all this kid's going to be, you're going to have to put some freaking guard rails up, and he's going to hit him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you've got that with your daughter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's freaking amazing It's freaking amazing It's like when you're a battlefield leader would you rather have that totally obedient guy that only does what you say?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you have to push him to get him to go out in the field and make it happen You want to have some of those two that got to pull the reins and on this guy, of course So that's what you got to do with your daughter now with yourself bro
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to learn to attach, take a step back, take a breath, recognize that you are embarrassing yourself when you get mad.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're taught, I laughed when, when you read that, I rarely interrupt you when you're reading echo, but when you're eight-year-old daughters, daughter calls you out and says, what's the point?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You get mad anyways.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's an eight-year-old calling you out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's embarrassing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she's right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can't let that happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You cannot let that happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So,
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[SPEAKER_00]: treat your kids like their, you know, like their adults treat them with respect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Listen what they have to say, give them some leeway, bro.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They want to go out and expand into the world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want them to stay in the nest for the rest of what is a Jordan Peterson calls it a smothering mother, you know, you just, you're devouring mother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it's devouring mother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what this, that's what you're acting like here is a devouring father.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everything must be my way and it's horrible.
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[SPEAKER_00]: be stoked that you've got some strong defiant wild kind of kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Those are the kids that become, you know, super.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Be thankful that you don't have unthinking automatons that are so scared of you that they just obey you out of fear because as soon as they turn 18, they are out of there and they're going to go do some really, truly defiant stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's not healthy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got, you got, it sounds like you got some rebels on your hands.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Good, but let's help them figure out what to rebel against.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And let's make sure that the thing that they're rebelling against isn't you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the stronger, the stronger and the more you try to hold them down, the more they are going to try and break away from you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you're in a beautiful situation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's luckily, she's only eight years old.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Luckily, she's just going to be kind to remember.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I got my kids right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They'll kind to remember that you used to be mad at a bunch, but they'll be like, oh, no, that's all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, when we were little, and they'll probably end up thinking it was like some of the stuff that was maybe that they were doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you'll be okay, you'll be fine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll go, yeah, my dad was awesome.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, he used to do this with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, yep.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what you want, man.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't try and freaking control people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Triangle relationships with them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I got.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I agree.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There's one part that I don't necessarily agree.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I know you were making a huge point or nothing, but you said something like long lines of, yeah, you know best, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: The parent knows best.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't even think that's true.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Grab a lot of the time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How is I trying to explain?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the I know that you think that you know the best and and I will say this Most parents many parents if given like I said like a like if they were able to program The daily activities of a child by the way now support to remember that they haven't even program daily activities for themselves Right there there there there's a reason why they're trying to put all this stuff on their
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocco Underground podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to continue to listen,
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[SPEAKER_00]: go to jockelunderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jockel podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And to do that, we are building a website right now, where we'll build the utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, it's jacco underground.com.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It costs $8 and $18 a month.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you can't afford to support us,
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[SPEAKER_00]: We can still support you, just email assistance at jockelonagram.com and we'll get you taken care of until then we will see you mobilized underground.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is the Jockel Underground podcast number 182 sitting here with Echo Trolls.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've got some questions from the troopers out there in the world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We will provide answers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll provide recommendations, courses of actions.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Courses of action.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Which is helpful, by the way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, first question.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hi, Jockel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A long time listener here, father of two, eight and four.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Husband, business owner, and brown belt.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hoot your ins hard every morning, inspired by your example.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My problem is my eight-year-old daughter is very bright, but extremely defiant about chores and daily effort.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Every request turns into a fight and I inevitably lose my cool.
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[SPEAKER_01]: After a recent blow up, she asked, what's the point you're always mad anyway?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've got you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm failing to lead at home.
00:51.588 --> 00:55.994
[SPEAKER_01]: My anger seems set to the negative tone from that family and on a break this cycle.
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[SPEAKER_01]: earn her respect, motivate effort, and set discipline without crushing or trust or spirit.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I've done therapy for anger in the past and greatly changed my perspective and approach, but I'm human and I still struggle with triggers.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What advice do you have for fathers wrestling with this battle at home?
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[SPEAKER_01]: How do you lead defiant kids who rattle the home's stability and maintain trust so the family buys in?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Listening to your podcast has helped me push through tough spots for years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right on classic case of imposing things on the people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I look you can get away with that something that's I'm like like like maybe 10% 20% of people will be okay with that Most people won't that's why it doesn't work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why we didn't write a book, you know, called like extreme tyrannical leadership Because that doesn't work Doesn't work in a business doesn't work on the battlefield.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't work with your family either So here's a couple things just straightforward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be a little tricky because you because
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was about to say you think you know best and you actually do know best you do know what's best for your daughter and if you could program exactly what she should do study from this time train this much clean this thing play you know violin at this time and you could program your kid and just break their spirit and just make them do that would be like the the ideal you make the ideal kid right except for the part that I said what I said broken spirit
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[SPEAKER_00]: because you have to break them to get them to do that, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You think break them to get them to do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, you don't want to do that, you don't want to do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want to give her some ownership, you want to kind of as much as you can, treat her like an adult, not in a punitive way, and don't go crazy, don't go overboard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But,
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you look at her and eight-year-old kid, I've known guys that were eight years old lived on a farm and they would drive the tractor into town with hay and sell it, like get the money and bring it back in, you know what I mean?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like an eight-year-old is a capable human.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so let her come up with it, like let her come up with the chores.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe there's gonna be some successful data.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make sense that I have to make my bed every day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of freaking out and be like, you're gonna lock this up and pull it through.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, just be like, okay, cool, yeah, you're right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just pull the comforter up so we can tell it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's, you know, so you can put stuff on and it won't be messy or if the dog jumps on it, it won't get, you know, hair inside, you know, just whatever something just, just real simple.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let her come up with a short list.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then, you know, maybe negotiate some kind of a salary, you know, what do we, let's work, let's, let's get some rewards, some compensation here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you got to explain the why and then the why's got to be pragmatic and it's got to be something they can understand too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And kids don't understand this will instill this discipline that you need in the future.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They don't care about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Need to be hey listen here's the bottom line if we have a fire in the house and the firefighters have to come through your window And there's crap all over the floor.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They're not going to be able to get you out of here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't care how clean the room is You're not to get the dust off the floor, but you can't have a bunch of toys all over the floor Cool, yep cool, so like a pragmatic explanation Hey, you can't have dishes in your room because then we have flies and we have mice and we'll have ants all over the house So you can't have you know dishes in your room
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[SPEAKER_00]: just pragmatically can't do it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have to fold your clothes a certain way?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, you don't have to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't mind going to school with wrinkle clothes, don't care.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What if the other parents judge you as a bad person?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like whatever, my kids look like damn freaking, they were raised by wolves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When my kids were that age, my son didn't wear shoes, he didn't wear a shirt.
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[SPEAKER_00]: His feet look like you as a damn caveman.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter's only wore like, leotards, dirty leotards.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you see what I'm saying?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't like, you know, people probably looking at me going, what are you know, that guy doesn't even
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know discipline in this house, really?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of like some pragmatic things to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The other thing is you want respect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to give a respect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want her to trust you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to give her trust.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want to have influence over her?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You better allow her to influence you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's, you know, trustless and respect influencing care.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what you gotta do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard to give those things to your kid because you know you're so much smarter than them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying that like being a jerk, saying it, but I know it's true.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know for all of my kids, I could have given them the ultimate schedule.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that they then would have been the jujitsu champion, the wrestling champion, the freaking guitar hero, whatever.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like you can impose, or you can come up with a plan, the perfect plan, put it in a chatbie, GBT.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, how many times a day should my daughter be training jujitsu in her or be a world champion?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What school should she go to for jujitsu?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And where, how many times a day?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What athletic pursuits should she take on?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What Olympic lifting?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You see, I'm saying you could do it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you'd be right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: you'd be right and you also have a child that would hate you and you have a child that hated whatever sport you were trying to get him to do or whatever thing you were trying to get him to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you build a relationship with them and you make all those things fun instead of freaking misery and discipline doesn't become this horrible overbearing tone inside your house where everyone just thinks you're ridiculous you're trying to run this
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[SPEAKER_00]: then it'll be problematic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But if you treat them like, listen what they have to say, put some trust to, oh, hey, do you want to go?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What are some things you're going to, hey, do you want to go and train your jet to?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is he trying to get his kids to do you just to?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, uh, you're trying to get your kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you're trying to get your kids to train your jet to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, well, I don't really want to train today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, well, you want to do something else?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah, what do you want to do?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to get some ice cream?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, yeah, excuse my screen that will skip to you just as he seems and just have fun Have fun and by the way, what you're here's the here's the important thing that person that you raised like a robot ends up with a person without a mind that is going to be able to think isn't going to be able to Be able to overcome adversity isn't going to be able to figure out ways out of problems that they're going to get presented in her life So you think you're making them a better person, but you're making them a worse person
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to open up their minds.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to allow them to brush in the guardrails of failure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are all things that you have to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to teach them to think for themselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You want, that's it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to teach them to think for themselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And guess what?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sounds like your daughter thinks for herself right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's got that, she's got that beautiful, natural spark of individuality and spirit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's going to come with some damn problems, bro.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was looking to old videos the other day of my kids when they were little.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I almost posted him, because you see a couple of videos of random, you're like, that's going to be hard to handle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's just, you see some little pictures of frail, and she's like, oh, that's going to be, you know, these are, these are not obedient, you know, slaves, or my son, like when he's a little kid, you're like, all this kid's going to be, you're going to have to put some freaking guard rails up, and he's going to hit him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you've got that with your daughter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's freaking amazing It's freaking amazing It's like when you're a battlefield leader would you rather have that totally obedient guy that only does what you say?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you have to push him to get him to go out in the field and make it happen You want to have some of those two that got to pull the reins and on this guy, of course So that's what you got to do with your daughter now with yourself bro
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got to learn to attach, take a step back, take a breath, recognize that you are embarrassing yourself when you get mad.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're taught, I laughed when, when you read that, I rarely interrupt you when you're reading echo, but when you're eight-year-old daughters, daughter calls you out and says, what's the point?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You get mad anyways.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's an eight-year-old calling you out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's embarrassing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she's right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can't let that happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You cannot let that happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So,
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[SPEAKER_00]: treat your kids like their, you know, like their adults treat them with respect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Listen what they have to say, give them some leeway, bro.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They want to go out and expand into the world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want them to stay in the nest for the rest of what is a Jordan Peterson calls it a smothering mother, you know, you just, you're devouring mother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it's devouring mother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what this, that's what you're acting like here is a devouring father.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everything must be my way and it's horrible.
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[SPEAKER_00]: be stoked that you've got some strong defiant wild kind of kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Those are the kids that become, you know, super.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Be thankful that you don't have unthinking automatons that are so scared of you that they just obey you out of fear because as soon as they turn 18, they are out of there and they're going to go do some really, truly defiant stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's not healthy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got, you got, it sounds like you got some rebels on your hands.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Good, but let's help them figure out what to rebel against.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And let's make sure that the thing that they're rebelling against isn't you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the stronger, the stronger and the more you try to hold them down, the more they are going to try and break away from you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you're in a beautiful situation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's luckily, she's only eight years old.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Luckily, she's just going to be kind to remember.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I got my kids right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They'll kind to remember that you used to be mad at a bunch, but they'll be like, oh, no, that's all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, when we were little, and they'll probably end up thinking it was like some of the stuff that was maybe that they were doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you'll be okay, you'll be fine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll go, yeah, my dad was awesome.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, he used to do this with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, yep.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what you want, man.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't try and freaking control people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Triangle relationships with them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I got.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I agree.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There's one part that I don't necessarily agree.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I know you were making a huge point or nothing, but you said something like long lines of, yeah, you know best, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: The parent knows best.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't even think that's true.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Grab a lot of the time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How is I trying to explain?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the I know that you think that you know the best and and I will say this Most parents many parents if given like I said like a like if they were able to program The daily activities of a child by the way now support to remember that they haven't even program daily activities for themselves Right there there there there's a reason why they're trying to put all this stuff on their
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocco Underground podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to continue to listen,
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[SPEAKER_00]: go to jockelunderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jockel podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And to do that, we are building a website right now, where we'll build the utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, it's jacco underground.com.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It costs $8 and $18 a month.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you can't afford to support us,
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[SPEAKER_00]: We can still support you, just email assistance at jockelonagram.com and we'll get you taken care of until then we will see you mobilized underground.